Story by russell nakamura

Quiz by olivia neri

Artwork by tyson wintibaugh

When I was twelve, my parents sent me across town to a middle school where I was the only non-Caucasian kid in class. I remember being forced to examine the way people viewed me, contemplating whether or not I was likeable or acceptable.

Psychologist Erik Erikson called this Identity vs. Role Confusion: when a young adult undergoes self-perception in order to understand their abilities and limitations.

Put simply, for me it was the first time I faced the pressure of "fitting in."

So six years later, when my parents sent me the width of the country to attend Pepperdine University, I relapsed to the same situation of self-perception. Except this time I didn’t have my family or friends to go home to for comfort and affirmation. It was the toughest time of my life. Looking back on it as a junior, I find my freshman year also the most redeeming time of my life. But for many first-year students atPepperdine, the community lacks staying power. The transfer rate is especially high, or the "retention rate" comparatively low, fo on-campus freshmen, who are faced with a non-functional social atmosphere to counter their daily stresses of school and home sickness.

However, among most upperclassmen, the sentiment regarding our school is of great favor. So what is it about Pepperdine that makes students either love it or hate it? What does it take to make this school a place to call home?

Before the fall semester began, New Student Orientation welcomed 784 people to Pepperdine, initiating a comfortable transition for them into their unfamiliar new world. NSO immerses the incoming students amongst each other through events such as Frosh Follies and Nocturnal Madness, instigating camaraderie between classmates.

"NSO gave us the idea that Pepperdine was an easy-going place," said Kristin Starr, a freshman. "It showed that this school wasn’t just there to be a school, but was also there to be a family."

Kara Timmons, a junior, recalls, "The NSO experience showed the best of Pepperdine— all the aspects of what to do and how to get involved. After meeting so many people there and through SGA and Campus Ministry, I was excited. [Pepperdine] attracts the kind of people I want to be around — fun, outgoing people who inspire you. I often call Pepperdine the ‘Hollywood’ of college campuses because beautiful people are attracted here, and it’s initially hard to keep up your image. But I discovered quickly that not everyone focuses on your exterior."

Being a new student entails the trials of adjusting to these changes. Aside from the challenge of sharing personal space with a roommate, students must also face the student body, primarily California-based, divided between religious and non-religious, and often known to be competitive, demanding and composed of mainly an upper-class demographic.

Chris Haines, a sophomore, recalled of his unhappy memories as a freshman; "When I first came here, I found Pepperdine to be very small and closed. I found my high school to have been more diverse and multi-faceted than my college, and I didn’t feel like I was progressing forward. I needed a broader cultural base and more exposure to the real world."

Aside from the lack of diversity, Pepperdine has a reputation for lacking a social grapevine. Many complain about the difficulty of meeting people. Organizations such as the Greeks and other clubs offer a chance for people to be a part of a group, but often segregate themselves from other groups.

The few parties that happen are generally reserved for those who are within "the loop," and sporting events are not frequented with the kind of pride larger football-oriented schools are.  In addition, with more than 20 different residence halls, the campus lacks the centrality necessary for people to interact on a regular basis outside of class, not to mention its secluded location which reflects the atmosphere of a quiet resort more than that of a college.

First Impressions

"My first impression of Pepperdine was boredom," freshman Kanani Tamashiro said. "You’re so isolated from the rest of L.A. that there isn’t much to do."

New students often become disillusioned individuals searching for familiarity and comfort but continually finding themselves dissatisfied with their collegiate experience. Equally, Pepperdine’s strict Christian-moral-based policies, including visitation hours and the restriction of alcohol, often cause a feeling of confinement.

"I envisioned college to be the best time of my life, and I’m not receiving that here. There aren’t any parties and we’ve got to follow lame rules on campus. I feel more restricted than when I live at home with my parents" said Kelli Taylor, a sophomore who is considering transferring at semester’s end.

The undergraduate student body of 2,932 makes for a small campus, leaving little room for complaints. At a state school, dissatisfied students can explore different atmospheres to find their niche more easily. But at Pepperdine, people discover alternatives are not at their disposal. Most of the time, what you see is what you get, which often leads to a lack of people with which to identify.

"The majority of the people here are too uptight. I don’t find very many who are really genuine," Taylor said.

But we don’t meet our kind of people right away all the time. And because of this problematic social environment, Pepperdine initially doesn’t offer a sense of home.

As a freshman, I remember tagging along with my dorm-mates despite the lack of commonality, and then finding difficulty compromising my identity simply to be in a social sphere. People don’t naturally stay in places where they don’t feel comfortable, and as a result, those who have bad first impressions, or poor experiences, tend to leave.

Feeling at Home

The trials of adjusting to change essentially boil down to the struggle of finding a new sense of home. Not until people find others with similar interests does a sense of home begin to emerge. People find themselves in an environment where they are compatible with the community. When an appropriate niche accommodates the interests of the individual, the person experiences social acceptance, or more colloquially defined, "fitting-in."

People struggling with their identity within a group eventually either amend their identities, retreat into their shortcomings or isolate themselves, saying, "There’s nobody like me, there’s nowhere to go."

In this last (but not least) case, the problem is you.

People wander into different stages of their lives not having closed their last episode. As a result, they get lost along the way. I was one of those freshman who struggled, then opted to retreat. It wasn’t until I realized the necessity (and benefits) of beginning a new home at Pepperdine that I began to find social acceptance. In the process, I began to gain a better understanding of myself as a human, an individual and a social being as well.

Haines now says he enjoys Pepperdine and plans to continue his schooling here. "It wasn’t until second semester freshman year when I made a couple good friends that I felt comfortable here," he explained. "Then, instead of looking at the small school atmosphere as a hindrance, it became more of an asset. I enjoyed the comfort of not being lost amongst the student body. Everyone began to add to the Pepperdine experience instead of anonymously blending in."

The Quest for Identity

As prideful young adults we tend to forget that we don’t know everything. The experience of encountering a strange world often forces us to re-examine ourselves. Like Erikson’s theory of development points out, this is when individuals encounter their boundaries.

We externally seek our identity within a community, but internally we’re really just looking for ourselves. This is what Erikson meant by role-confusion. We have to realize that while we search for a community at Pepperdine, we don’t need to play a role, nor should we be stubborn, in order to be happy.

Happiness. Isn’t that what we’re all looking for, inevitably? The answer to Life’s Big Question? The eternal search for happiness a.k.a. contentment? By examining other colleges, we may discover that the polarization of happiness and misery, contentment and contempt, and love and hate for a community are common. Difficulties with "fitting in" aren’t exclusive to Pepperdine.

Marc Jannone, a transfer student from Loyola Marymount, said, "LMU was a split student body. Commuters make up a good percentage of the student population, foreign to the on-campus community. Being one of the commuters, I found this split made it hard to make and keep friends. I came to Pepperdine because [this] close-knit community feels like a home."

If college has the capability of offering a home, what’s home-sickness about? It is a lack of comfort, a lack of familiarity, community and love — all things that a proper home should provide. Therefore, adjustment to a new environment equates to building a new home.

Lasting Impressions

After my first year at Pepperdine, I discovered that it was unique because of the inhibited social sphere. You didn’t meet everyone all at once. Instead, you got to meet new people every semester.  And because of the proximity of the student body, you tend to become closer with the people you meet at Pepperdine more than you would at a state school. Once this community is established, you find yourself capable of being satisfied with the experience.

College is unlike any other time in a young person’s life. This is a time when students gain the opportunity to step beyond the shelter of family and encounter the world on their own. So it’s very natural to feel vulnerable outside of that shelter. Pepperdine’s inhibited social scene initially may make this transition a little more difficult. But as Haines pointed out, a smaller school creates a more personal experience. Although it requires more patience and effort, the ties you create become more like family than an impersonal larger school.

Because humans are social beings, the search for home requires relating to other people. If that means taking a step back and re-examining yourself, you should do it. People need others. People need care, familiarity and community. They need a world that they understand and can operate in. Only in such a world can a person find the kind of love they can call family love.

The trials of personal identity and social acceptance are among the most difficult in life. But the benefits of undergoing the transformation from a dependent adolescent to an independent adult prove to be more redeeming than any wild party, spirited football game or lightweight visitation rule.

Your name_______________

    A. Orange has never been very good with my complexion.

    B. I’m building my wardrobe. I go to every event where they give out free T-shirts.

    C. My mother has picked up a few things for me off the clearance racks. I now  have a coordinated outfit!

    D. Coordinated with shoes, socks, jewelry, face paint, nail polish ...

2. Are you a survivor?

    A. Of homesickness.

    B. El Nino season was hardly survival. I loved canceled class days!

    C. Being a Pepperdine Student during the fires was the equivalent of smoking  237 packs of cigarettes.

    D. The only natural disaster I have yet to survive is Malibu dropping  into the sea.

3. Has Pepperdine expanded your cultural horizons?

    A. My roommate speaks limited English.

    B. I love cafeteria Italian night and go to Mexico whenever I can to, um ...  enjoy the scenery.

    C. I am now an official member of the Heidelberg clique.

    D. No, I think I must travel the world for a few years before getting a job.

4. Checked your convo credits lately?

    A. I haven’t missed one yet. It’s the best place to see and be seen.

    B. I enrolled in club convo so I could sleep in on Wednesdays.

    C. I had to work out a contract so that I could register.

    D. Friday night, my place, convo videos.

5. Pepperdine doesn’t have a football team, so ...?

    A. Pepperdine doesn’t have a football team?

    B. I go to all the water polo games!

C. I watch football from my couch. The Broncos are orange and blue.

    D. When I make my billion, I’ll donate the funding for a football program.

6. How often do you call home?

    A. A couple times a week — I like to hear what Mom is making for dinner.

    B. Every Sunday — I miss home, but I’m just too busy to call as often as I used to.

    C. When I need money.

    D. Quite often — I must improve the relationship with my parents since I’ll be  moving back in with them in a few months.

7. What do you do with the papers, projects and exams returned to you?

    A. I mail them home — my mom puts them up on the refrigerator.

    B. I keep them — they could come in handy when I’m running low on cash.

    C. I think I ditched most of the days when my professors handed things back.

    D. I am assembling all my best work into a portfolio to show prospective  employers.

8. You have class at 8 a.m. When do you wake up?

    A. 6:30 — and don’t I look good?

    B. 6:45 — I have to have time to eat breakfast in preparation for a busy day.

    C. I don’t.

    D. 7:15 — I roll out of bed and hope there’s no traffic in the canyon.

Mostly A’s

Don’t worry, you won’t be a freshman forever. It takes time to adjust to homesickness, caf food, rules that are stricter than when you lived at home, all the stairs, weird suitemates and sharing a 10x10 living area. Relax and start to see Pepperdine for all the opportunities it offers.

Mostly B’s

You have sophomore spirit. Pepperdine is your home; the world is your oyster. You take advantage of every opportunity, be it a party or a service project. You now know where the 101 intersects the 10 and the 405. But don’t forget to roll down the window and enjoy the scenery along the way. And take a nap. You deserve it.

Mostly C’s

You have the Junior Blahs. You’ve figured out how to do as little as possible and still get by. Nothing’s new, nothing’s exciting, and the end seems so far away. Just don’t waste the year in cynicism or withdrawal. Ask any senior, it goes by too fast to not appreciate.

Mostly D’s

Somehow, I don’t envy the seniors. You have so much on your minds: job applications, student loans, real life, GRE’s, LSAT’s, four 400 level courses. Don’t get so bogged down in the big stuff that you forget that you’re still a crazy college kid. And don’t let the word turn you into an adult without your consent.

YALE     98%

STANFORD     97%

HARVARD     96%

UCLA     95%

UNIV. OF SAN DIEGO     89%

LOYOLA MARYMOUNT     86%

PEPPERDINE     83%

BAYLOR     83%

UNIV. OF MISSOURI     77%

UNIV. OF ARIZONA     76%

UNIV. OF ALASKA 62%

TOP REASONS FOR  NOT RETURNING TO PEP

    1. GOALS, VALUES, INTERESTS  DIFFERENT

    2. TOO MANY RULES, TOO  MUCH SUPERVISION

    3. FINANCIAL REASONS

    4. TOO MUCH EMPHASIS ON CONVOCATION

    5. TOO MUCH EMPHASIS ON RELIGION

    6. DISSATISFIED WITH FACULTY/INSTITUTION

    7. ANOTHER SCHOOL SEEMED BETTER

    8. DISLIKED GENERAL ATMOSPHERE/ACTIVITIES

        • sources: u.s. news and world report; pepperdine institutional research.