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With the Graphic on the eve of a two-week break, I figured I would share some thoughts with you that I haven’t been able to share this semester. You see, I have the tendency to be a little long winded in these columns and am usually required to widdle some 791-word masterpiece of mine down to about 600 or so.
Take for instance last week’s column about Conan O’Brien’s visit to Toronto. I had originally included as a random thought an entire thesis about how to properly fix the economy as well as a detailed analysis of who really killed JFK. It was brilliant prose, but hey, I figured people would find my newfound loathing for the Space Needle more entertaining. Sadly, I have since forgotten those legitimate thoughts, but I have plenty more.
Question: Just where the infierno am I suppose to park at La Salsa? The only place to park now is two or three parallel spots near the enormous La Salsa dude, or the option of parking on PCH and playing human Frogger. If I were to guess, the folks at La Salsa have become embroiled in some kind of disagreement with Madame Shirley’s Psychic Palace or whatever it’s called next door (or were going to get embroiled in a disagreement, and seeing this all before hand, Madame Shirley engaged a preemptive strike).
All I know is that there are now signs that say “NO LA SALSA PARKING” on the Madame Shirley’s side and concrete dividers running through where the La Salsa-side parking used to be. Oh well, I’m just going to keep parking next to Madame Shirley’s, and if she doesn’t like it, she should be able to foresee me coming and stop me.
Speaking of irritating neighbors causing traffic problems, Pepperdine has once again decided to close John Tyler Drive and Banowsky Boulevard after 10 p.m. In the past those streets have been blocked off because of the noise caused by students’ cars that disturbs our lovely neighbors along John Tyler. Thankfully, Public Safety was not blocking the roads first semester and the first half of this one. It was wonderful not having to drive all around Seaver Drive just to get to Upsilon parking lot.
But now, I guess Pepperdine has caved once again. Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t this University here first? And furthermore, didn’t the folks who moved in next door have the slightest inkling that moving right next to a university might not be the quietest neighborhood on Earth? That’s how students see it and Pepperdine shouldn’t accommodate these complaining “neighbors” who should have known better. “Not in My Backyard” doesn’t apply when what’s in the backyard was there first.
“Most Extreme Elimination Challenge” on Spike TV is simply the funniest thing on television. If you don’t know what it is, how sad for you, because its combination of “Jackass” meets “Iron Chef” is simply brilliant. I just can’t get enough of Captain Tenneal, Kenny Blankenship and my personal favorite, Herby the Steamy Pile. Eat Shittake!
This semester, I came down with a horribly painful case of an ulcer in my eye. It was caused by wearing day-and-night contact lenses as I slept, which they say you should be able to wear for 30 days straight. I don’t suggest doing that – corneal ulcers are not cool.
Finally, I was going to comment on A-Rod and on the Yankees, but alas, I’ve run out or room. I now have to start cutting what I just wrote because it’s too long.
Submitted February 26, 2004
MALIBU, CA
