
Section
Pepperdine Links
Online Publications
Activist judges are ruining this country. Slimy, no good, rotten, stupid activist judges who clearly received their places on the bench through a combination of either nepotism or sleeping their way to the top. In fact, it seems very unlikely that these activist judges even went to law school. A late-night DeVry course here or there, and a crash course in loony 1960s-bred activism is surely how these demons of American values have come to systematically tear the moral fiber of this great nation.
Judges in this country are supposed to be unbiased and only rule using a strict interpretation of the law. Activist judges, however, rule based on what best suits their radical liberal agenda. Let’s look at some examples of these despicable godless judicial creatures.
Around this time last year, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled that gays and lesbians have the right to marry. Four activist judges ruled against three other judges in this case, which opened a floodgate of gay marriage banter in this country. The decision also sent a signal to other activist judges across the country to enact their latest effort to undermine both the sacred institution of marriage and this nation’s culture as a whole.
Later, the mayor of San Francisco allowed gays and lesbians to marry. Sure, he’s not technically an activist judge, he’s an activist mayor, but the guy is a jerk. Luckily, a real court overturned all of the more than 4,000 of the gay marriages performed in San Francisco — marriages that degrade this sacred institution. An institution enjoyed and honored by so many loving heterosexuals like Britney Spears, Elizabeth Taylor, Jennifer Lopez, Larry King, King Henry VIII and more than 50 percent of the married population.
In another arena of judicial activism, lame duck Attorney General John Ashcroft criticized federal activist Judge James Robinson who ruled in November that an alleged associate of Osama bin Laden held by the United States should be granted a hearing as to whether he is a prisoner of war. This activist ruling raised questions in the naive public’s mind as to whether it is a right to prosecute detainees, captured on a battlefield, in military trials. Proponents of this ruling, which clearly undermines the supreme power of the president’s administration, note that the activist Geneva Convention affords prisoners captured in a war certain rights. Since this is a war on terror, though, those captured on a battlefield in it are terrorists, not soldiers. Actually, back in Vietnam, all those working for Charlie were clearly terrorists as well since they didn’t wear uniforms — but activists got their dirty way back then granting Charlie’s minions P.O.W. status. In fact, back in World War II, activists even complained when we threw the Japanese population in desert camps. Such “Bills of Rights” and “Geneva Conventions” are activist ploys to undermine the security of this country.
Recently, a federal activist judge ruled that schools in Cobb County, Ga., had to remove stickers from science textbooks stating that evolution is just a theory that should be considered with an open mind against alternative theories. This activist judge is going against the wishes of the public and elected officials who view evolution as a disgusting, perverse and blasphemous assertion that man descended from something along the lines of Koko the Gorilla.
Finally, back in 2000, four activist judges on the Supreme Court ruled in favor of Democratic whiner Al Gore in the election recount case. Luckily, five real justices were able to prevail. With even more luck, these four offending justices (seriously, who let them on the bench?) and part-time activist Justice Sandra Day O’Connor will one day retire, allowing five real, unbiased justices on the bench to affirm a resounding majority (about 20 percent) of the population’s belief that abortion in all forms should be made illegal. With President Bush re-elected, hopefully that day isn’t far off, and this land will once and for all be rid of activist judges.
And of course for clarification, by “activist” I mean anyone who doesn’t agree with the right-wing conservative agenda of the United States. And to those who think that Conservative judges are hypocrites and just as guilty of activism when they rule against such issues as abortion, gay rights and whatever else based on their personal conservative beliefs … those people are also evil, no good, loony activists.
Submitted 1-20-2005